The Breakup

"I just wanna be friends." Gag me. At least they don't decline you when you asked them out in the first place. Essentially, when a girl says she doesn't want to go on a date with you at all, she is really saying, "I don't even like you enough to share a free meal with you." At least that didn't happen, but one must wonder how much money one would save if they just knew how to predict the "friends zone." It's a lot like the Twighlight Zone: you never know you know ended up there or how you got there, you just know you don't want to be there. Being in this zone is the worst place to be relationally. Why? Because the female still gets the benefit of you paying for everything out of courtesy and no obligations whatsoever. It feels kind of like a Valentine's gift with all the chocolate already unwrapped and half-eaten.
Yes, I am and have been the "friend" guy to a number of nice young ladies on a number of occassions. It sucks. And I have even pulled all the stops. The worst attempt I ever made was the time I ate a footlong chili cheese dog then proceeded to partake in one of her favorite pastimes- running- all to end up in the "friends zone." I ate that chili cheese dog nearly ten times before the run was over. Beyond that, I am a terrible flirt. Not only have I once threatened girls into a date with their lives, on the flip side, I have had women tell me I sound like the spawn of Barry White and Rod Stewart and should do their voicemail for them. Relationships and dating is killer and I am a sucker, that's for sure, but if there is one thing I have noticed about this week, it is that a lot of people have ended up in the worst possible position with friends, girlfriends, husbands, wives, and even pets. You know it's rough when even the pooch is conspiring against you.
This week has been a week of aloneness for many people I know. Heck, maybe even for you. Now don't get me wrong, I love being single (it saves on money during the holidays) but there comes a time when being single just is the pits. The third wheel syndrome comes about pretty fast. Maybe it's not that you feel like a third wheel, just a tension between you and a loved one or friend. And if you are going through a breakup or tough situation currently, there's really nothing you want to hear to makes things better. The only thing that will help that would be pizza and a movie, so go buy a large, don't share, and watch Citizen Kane tonight.
But no matter where you are with the people in your life, at least there is something we can lean on. It was given to Moses, the one guy in the Bible that probably felt the most alone out there in the desert, to say to Joshua right before they went into the promised land. He said, "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." (Duet 31:8) And somehow, in this grand mess of things, whether you are puking up footlong chili cheese dogs or at ends with your best friend, at least someone won't leave you. Even God knows how it feels to be alone Friday night. That's why He doesn't want you to ever feel that way from here on. So here's to all the relationships and friends that don't make sense in the end and may not for miles to come. Here's to all the bad dates we've been on and the messy friendships we face. Here's to being awkward in public and conspriators in private. Here's to saying, "I need sense in my life!" You won't find it conventionally, but the same guy who told Moses to walk out into the desert with a bunch of backseat-driving Israealites has been known to make sense every once and a great while. At least He's around and doesn't cost a dime.
KB